DieT TiPS FRoM FaTKiD! 1. Stay away from HO-HO's, Twinkies and Snacky Cakes. 2. When grandma offers you fudge, kick her in the knee-cap. 3. Stay away from that good for nothin, dumplin stuffing, cake hole feeding, big butt breeding, butter stacked, cream filled, lard soaked sound called Top 40. 4. "Cookies" don't equal "Love." 5. Start smoking. (Kidding...) 6. ... however Crack usually seems to knock off pounds, eh Marion Barry? (Really kidding, ha, ha, don't do drugs.) 7. Bulemia! (Woah! Now I'm REALLY kidding! Bulemia is bad.) 8. Sweatin' to the Oldies I, II and IV. (I didn't like Richard Simmon's outfit in III.) 9. Eat nothing but paste (or whatever that stuff is called, oh yeah, i think it's called "slimfast"). 10. Spend 5 years working out... Then go to your highschool reunion and open that can of whoopass!